February 2011
45 posts
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Post SNARK thoughts
This past weekend was, in a word, surreal.
SNARK was my first tweetup. I’ve read about them, and have been jealous of others who’ve attended them. However, when Michelle started organizing a get together in NYC, I started to get a bit nervous. After all, it’s one thing to be witty and charming sitting in my living room, hiding behind a computer screen. It’s quite another...
January 2011
53 posts
Semi SNARK related "This really happened!" post
I I have lots to say about how incredibly awesome SNARK was this weekend, and in the next day or two I’ll be posting pics and providing sappy commentary on how much I love you guys, yadda yadda. However, first I have to share this. Yes, this is completely true:
So last night after the festivities I found myself in front of my hotel room, drunk, tired, and generally needing sleep. I was...
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25 Years ago Today
I was living in Florida and still in bed, a bit hung over from a night of drinking. My mother burst into the bedroom in a panic and told me to wake up, and to come outside. Thinking this was some new form of family drama (there was lots), I slowly got up, pulled my shorts on and made my way to the front door.
The first thing that I noticed was that all of the neighbors were outside on the...
Packing for SNARK
..hopefully I’ll be on a train in a little over an hour. Just called my hotel to make sure my reservation is still good. It is.
See you guys this weekend.
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I'm listed in Tumblweeds under nyc, personal,...
I’m listed in Tumblweeds, a user-generated community directory that rates Tumblr bloggers by their number of followers. Find me listed in #nyc, #personal, #humor
fuckderek:
donaldislost replied to your post: SnarkNYC: Subway Information
That’s close to the museum. I say we get shit faced and go check out some fuggin dinosaurs
YES! We should do this Saturday afternoon.
Awesome.
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I think I may get into it
I watched the pilot episode of the X-Files tonight. I’ve always been into off kilter/sci-fi shows, but I never caught this one. Thanks to the Netflix, I was able to catch it. When it was over, I realized that this was a show that I could get into. The story was interesting and it really did make me believe.
I believe that X-Files era David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are two of the...
5’ 10”
..but honey, I’m rich on personality.
Truthful Tuesday
Random thoughts of truthiness, since I don’t have anything lingering on my mind..
I can’t wear a hat because I get hat head. As you can glean from this I’m also vain as I’d rather look good than be warm.
I’m a little nervous about SNARKNYC. I’ve booked a hotel for Friday and Saturday night, and I’m flying solo. I’m wondering what I’m going to...
Two words regarding the blow up doll face meme
Thank you.
I've inadvertently created a window into my soul
A few months ago I purchased a new washer and dryer. I replaced the old top loader with a cool new front loading washing machine and the matching dryer. When they were delivered I realized that I accidentally ordered a gas dryer and I needed an electric dryer. I refused the delivery because, at the time, the dryer worked fine; I just wanted a matching set.
The old dryer finally died, so I...
I miss her. And me.
Laughing, I think. I mostly miss laughing with her.
The inside jokes, the play on words, the little improv scenarios we’d invent on the spot when one of us said something slightly absurd. The funny voices. The rehashing of jokes we made when we were kids. The things we did to make each other laugh when we realized that the way we were living was in no way how children should be living.
...
This is why I can't have nice things
Ever since I purchased my new high def webcam, I have a folder full of pictures that Tyra Banks would be proud of. There’s photos of me smiling. Mugging. Looking all serious. Looking all modely. In one pic I’m even giving the thumbs up to essentially nobody. I have become the definition of narcissistic.
Christ, can you imagine what I’d become if someone gave me a microphone?
Pigtails and Combat Boots: One sentence summary of... →
pigtailsandcombatboots:
Overall, after auditioning, the actor who could portray the qualities of the character the best, through their acting ability, should get the role, no matter what ethnicity they are, what other movies they’ve been in, general public perception of them, etc. Or, basically, what this guy says:
Years ago in a college acting class my teacher asked me to read for a side...
Totally Random
So I just found out that one of my tweets was featured on a Fox News webpage. It’s not a funny or clever tweet, but a RIP to Don Kirshner. Plus, if you play the short podcast, they even mention my name!
Fox News Radio page
The only bad thing about this is now I’ll probably get stuck listening to Beck at the next company picnic.
Truthful Tuesday
My 13 year old son screamed “Fuck You!” to me in anger today.
James and I really know how to bait one another. To be fair, after replaying the minutes before the outburst in my head I think I may have deserved it. Still, none of my children have ever said anything like this before. I was level headed after he said it. I did not chase after him. I suppressed the urge put him through...
Happy Birthday Lisa!
Happy Birthday to one of my best buds, Lisa.
I can’t even tell you how long ago, or what circumstance brought me to know Lisa. All I can tell you for sure is that, she’s one of the most genuine, nicest, smartest, and all around amazing women that I have the privilege of calling friend.
Thanks to her, I finally came around to Firefly, have seen more pictures of Henry Rollins than I...
Derek has proved a few things to us all this evening:
He is the (a) Man.
He’s got a set of balls on him.
He’s cut. Above the rest.
Horoscope for Ophiuchus (Nov. 29-Dec.17)
You are in a cycle of change. Confusion overtakes you as you don’t really know who you are anymore. Be prepared for new emotions, new experiences, and a period of time when you have difficulty pronouncing new words.
Lucky numbers: 6, 9, and 0
Sarkastickunt: Unlikeable →
sarkastickunt:
Someone sent me an email and told me that there were quite a few people who want to attend SNARKNYC but won’t because I am the one organizing it.
First this made me angry.
And then I got really, really sad.
I know my personality is a bit “tangy” to say the least. And I know I can rub some…
I suppose it’s natural that when you put a large group of people together...
Snow day observations
My office is running about 50% today. NYC got smacked, but it’s not that bad. I live upstate, however, and I’m looking at about 18 or so inches. Even though I’m working a full day, I feel weird sometimes taking snow days when people in the office don’t see any snow on the ground.
I have a friend at work who’s as dialed in (probably much more) than I am with...
An observational study of the mating habits of...
1. The male Guppy is a persistent little fucker.
2. Guppy blowjobs are literal affairs that include actual bubbles.
3. “Backing that shit up” looks a lot easier when done under water.
4. Listening to Prince’s Purple Rain soundtrack adds emotional depth and makes the act more interesting to watch.
5. Behind the filter is apparently the most romantic place in the tank.
6....
Super-Nik is the bomb
I took Super-Nik up on her incredibly generous offer to share her massive ebook collection. Today I received a bunch of Clive Barker books that work flawlessly on my iPad.
Seriously, Nik, I was in a douchey mood this morning (well, I still kind of am, but less so now) and you’ve made me really happy today.
Thanks!!
“In life you have to do a lot of things you don’t fucking want to do. Many times, that’s what the fuck life is… one vile fucking task after another.”
Al Swearengen
Nine fish enter.. sushi leaves
I woke up this morning to a freezing house.
In the middle of the night my oil ran out. I wasn’t sure of this until I threw some clothes on and checked my tank this morning. I called the oil company and made an appt. for them to come out and refill my tank. Until then, I took a shower that was so cold that I’m frankly surprised my heart didn’t stop.
I was also really concerned...
Things that blow
1. Wind
2. Clowns creating delightful ballooon animals
3. Quaker low sugar Maple and Brown Sugar oatmeal
So Many Memes...
…so much goddamn office work. GPOYW, Video Dialects, and Actors Studio questions.
I’m gonna be busy when I get home tonight.
This will now be known as "The Cheeseburger...
I love the posts the cheeseburger chowder post has sparked.
After reading your posts, and discussing it with a friend, I’ve decided that I should have gone with my gut and ordered the damn cheeseburger soup. Screw Miss Wall Street. It’s not like I would have ever seen her again. Besides, even if we did hit it off, at some point she would more than likely discover that I...
Truthful Tuesday
I had every intention of ordering a large cheeseburger chowder soup. I then felt a slight bump behind me, so I turned around. A beautiful Wall St. type businesswoman got in line behind me. She caught my glance and we ever so slightly smiled at one another. Then the guy behind the soup counter said “What’ll it be, buddy?”
I ordered the split pea.
Because split pea sounds...
My Confession
I’m a Hoarder.
I hoard love.
And no amount of therapy or 1-800-GOT-JUNK trucks are gonna make me give up any of it.
Werds is wurds
Last week I requested Words with Friends buddies. Since then some of you have heeded the call, and I just wanted to thank you guys and tell you that I am having a freaking blast playing this game with you. I did want to point a few things out, in case you haven’t realized it yet:
Yes, I suck at this game. However with your help I think I’m getting better.
I’m still figuring...