May 2011
81 posts
Truths, I guess
I want to punch salad in it’s stupid fucking lettuce face.
Between yesterday’s hike and my trips to the gym, I am in a constant state of soreness. At any given time, any one part of my body is sore. That’s a good thing, right?
I’m not sure how I’m going to survive my current living situation.
I received something in the mail today so wonderful and touching that it...
I want to visit 70's era New York City in all it's...
I’d get a room at the Plaza Suite.
I’d hang out with Shaft.
I’d like to kiss Michael Corleone’s ring.
I’d like to have a beer with Serpico.
I’d knock some heads around with the Seven-Ups.
I’d take a ride on Pelham One Two Three.
I’d take a ride around the village with the Taxi Driver.
I’d go dancing and catch Saturday Night Fever.
...
I’m completely obsessed with Netflix. It’s basically all I watch. Whether it’s a movie from my past that’s available to stream, a new movie that came out not too long ago, or to be able to watch an entire series of a show with no commercial interruption. It’s like a dream.
Of course, there are drawbacks.
I’ve become a cultural illiterate. I haven’t...
Lunchtime thoughts
Putting together the perfect salad is like trying to put together the perfect orgy. Bliss if it works, but if it doesn’t all you’re left with is a bunch of disgusting fruits and vegetables slathered in oil.
Irony is so ironic
Today being towel day amuses me, because when I stepped out of the shower this morning I realized that I had no towel at all. After standing naked and dripping in my bathroom for a minute, I looked at the clock and realized that I was running late and close to missing my train. With no time to look for a proper towel, I sprang into action.
I ran into my bedroom and began drying myself off with...
Truthful Tuesday
There’s some big time upheaval in my personal life that I may share with you guys at some point. It’s making me feel really blah and sad and mad and other ‘ads.
I haven’t been sleeping very well lately and I’m tired.
I need a haircut.
I figured out that if you put yogurt in the freezer it’s an acceptable substitute for ice cream.
I miss real ice cream.
...
The refrigerator repair man wanted $500 to fix the ice maker in my fridge.
I found a replacement part and fixed it myself.
The replacement part was $144.
I’m going to take the $356 I saved to become a certified refrigerator repair man.
Because obviously those fuckers make a lot of money.
We’re down to 10 minutes, people. Now’s the time. Clothes off, come on, let’s go people, times wasting. Luckily I’ll only need a minute or two..
CO-WORKER - Patrick, what’s your resolution?
ME - Um, to stop touching myself?
CO-WORKER. Screen resolution.
ME - Oh. 1280x1024.
I. Hate. Bugs.
My house lives on the edge of the woods. I regularly see all kinds of wild life on my front lawn, including deer, raccoons, and even wild turkeys. This is nice. In the summer I like to sit on my deck, enjoy a frosty beer and watch the sunset over the woods. It’s beautiful.
On the other hand, my house also tends to attract other sorts of not so nice creatures. I get ants, mice, flys and...
I’m not really sure what that last exercise was that my trainer had me do. All I know us that if I keep it up, woe be unto the next woman… You know what? Ill just let the next woman figure out for herself exactly what it is I’ve been exercising.
Remember when the work week used to just fly by,...
…yeah, that was awesome. I miss those kinds of weeks.
A few end of the day Tuesday Truths
I have a fear of being “that” guy. The one who overstays his welcome, the one who can’t take a hint, the one who keeps contacting someone even though he rarely gets a reply back, ect. If I get the feeling that i’m being “that” guy I back off. I’m sure I’ve lost some relationships this way, but if I get the feeling I’m not wanted or I’m...
Where do you live meme
I live in Beacon, NY.
It’s a small town on the Hudson River located about 60 or so north miles north of NYC. This is actually the longest time spent living in one town. I’ve lived sort of a gypsy lifestyle. Other places I’ve lived:
White Plains, NY
Hartsdale, NY
Haverstraw, NY
Wappinger Falls, NY
New Port Richey, FL
Tampa, FL
The list goes on, but the rest is irrelevant.
unbindingme-deactivated20120821 asked: Usually I check out the blog of people that follow me, but the naked pic drinking out of the mug was good enough for me. lol.. My question is, what is a stupid joke that always makes you laugh when you remember it?
I watched Howard the Duck in it's entirety this...
I win at Saturday night*
*In a parallel universe where acts of unbelievable loneliness and dorkyness are considered awesome.
Crushes
I read a post regarding Tumblr crushes and it got me to thinking about ones that I’ve had.
They’ve been playful, flirty, fun, meaningful, ridiculous, and one even made me sort of sad.
In the end, I’ve learned from them and made some real friends.
From now on I’ll be more careful.
Happy Birthday Ashamedtosay!
Kris! Happy Birthday!
Now that I know how awesome you truly are in real life, I’m even more excited that there’s another Chicago tweetup. You are funny, warm, friendly, and too amazing for words. I hope that you have a fantastic day, and I look forward to seeing you and your man in a few months!
Patrick
What's with all the spam accounts that keep...
…and why do they leave so quickly? it’s pretty sad when my posts are apparently not entertaining enough to a person who posts stock photos of sunsets and kitties.
First Kiss, Five Words
Please?
Please..?
PLEASE?!
YAY!
Oh.
Sorry.
I just found out that our Yankee tickets have been upgraded to 17 rows right behind home plate.
Seriously, if you watch the game you might catch me on TV. You’ll recognize me as the guy with the iPhone Tumbling that I’m sitting behind home plate.
Good news and Bad news
The good news is that I have a clean bill of health (well, at least until my blood work comes in)
The bad news is that he suggested I back off on the oranges since they are pure sugar. I fucking LOVE oranges. I’m bummed. He suggested more yummy vegetables.
Barley and Hops are vegetables, right? Excellent. This means all the Blue Moon that I want, just with no orange slices.
I can work...
Truthful Tuesday
I’m faltering on my diet. I’m still avoiding sweets, but I’m eating real food again other than salad for lunch every day for the simple fact that salad is boring the fuck out of me. Today I had a ham and cheese sandwich with *wait for it* BBQ chips. And they were fucking delicious.
I also crapped out on working out last week, but only because my daughter broke her ankle. I only...
