Yeah, Really.

thatchicmichelle:

alwaysphunny:

Will the boys buy be Martini’s?

Operation Phunny is NOT going to miss SNARK is in full effect.

Knowing that I’m going to be whooping it up with you guys in exactly one week is making tonight totally invalid. Seriously, I need this week to speed up. Maybe if I drink myself into a coma tonight I’ll wake up next week. 

in all the time I’ve been here, I’ve avoided drama and chose to stay friendly with those I like, no matter what their beef with others may have been. In that respect, I’m actually sort of boring.

However someone perceived my friendship with someone as a slight towards them and assumed I was taking sides. I most certainly was not, and I even tried via multiple emails and messages to make it right. All attempts at contact were ignored until today, when I was told I was on their “shit list”. As vanilla as i may be in the drama department, I decided to end my attempts to persue this person as a friend, which is a shame because apart from this nonsense I found them to b really cool and likable.

I wrote this person one final message and extracted myself from their life. I am so not about this and feel bad about the way things went down. This is not why I’m here. I’m not going to bad mouth this person or continue discussing this; after all not everyone’s gonna like me. However, I honestly feel kind of bad about this, but I also respect this persons opinion.

Now let’s all get drunk.

My follower/following counts are going up and down, so either some of you are really on the fence about me, or Tumblr is being wacky. If I unfollowed you I didn’t mean to. 

Of course if you’re no longer following me, you’re not going to see this post, which makes it irrelevant.

If you’re no longer following me because you don’t like me anymore, then I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work. 

And screw you.

When having to locate a folder on my hard drive and then having to click on multiple files inside the folder to open them becomes SUCH a freaking hassle. 

Seriously, I’m lazy, entitled, and need to get drunk. 

And judging from my laziness that this post implies; quite a catch, apparently. 

Dude.. we’ve been pals for more years than I wish to count. I could share all of my deep, dark secrets here and you’d still know more about me. I also know things about you that crack me up as I write this.

It was a sad day when you moved away. I’m sad at all the shenanigans that we’ve missed out on. One day dude, one day.

Suffice it to say, you’re a good man and I wish you all the best, buddy. Love you, Bro.

Happy Birthday!

I don’t use them. I have my phone set to silent where it only vibrates, and I think I have one or two numbers that use a standard iPhone ring. 

I know, not very creative. However, I think it’s better that way. if I’m in a loud place or a meeting, I’ll always feel it vibrate in my pocket and choose to answer or not answer. If I’m in a quiet place and the phone is on my desk, I’ll hear it and also feel it shake the desk. 

Mainly, though, I do it this way because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen an inappropriate ring tone go off at the worst time. For example, being in a meeting and hearing “Baby Got Back” screaming from a co-workers phone, or sitting in a quiet office and hearing someone’s custom ring tone scream in a silly voice “PICK UP THE PHONE!!”, or sitting in a waiting room and hearing the latest strains of the most ridiculous top 40 songs. 

However, years ago, I did once use “Working Man” by Rush as my ringtone, because if you’re going to have a ringtone it should RAWK.

Looking back at my posts during the past week or so, I’ve noticed that they’ve been a bit cryptic, vague, and even little whiny. 

First off, I’m not deleting my account. I sincerely thank all of you who told me to stick around. However, it was a TT post, and was just thinking out loud. That got me thinking about why I was even toying with the idea.

Long story short, I’ve been preoccupied. Work has become a challenge, and unfortunately my busiest time will be during the summer, which means I can’t schedule any vacation time. Maybe a day here and there, but I don’t think I’m looking at any real time off until the holiday season. Stress with no foreseeable time off is making me cranky. 

I have also had some weird developments in my personal life. I share a lot with everyone here, but there are some things I hold back. Who knows; it might be better for me to talk about these things. However, for now, I’ll keep these things to myself. In any case, these things are only adding to the mental baggage I’m carrying around.

So what does this all mean? it just means that I’ve been a moody fuck. I get it. I’m a grown up and I sometimes have to deal with grown up things. I think I just need a good form of stress relief.  I enjoy knowing all of you and sharing with you guys. I think it would only add to my mood if I were to split and not have this forum to play around in. 

So thanks for listening. Now let’s all get drunk. 

…but I’m willing to learn.

I still have to get my room. Not sure if I’m staying the entire weekend in the city or just Saturday night. Is anything happening Friday night?

I have given serious thought to toasting my Tumblr account in the past week or so. The only reason I haven’t yet is that I tend be really impulsive and have been known to jump to conclusions and be rash for the wrong reasons. So I’m thinking this one through. 

After an early start to a day that included morning kickboxing, driving around and doing chores in 96 degree weather, I’m now chilling with Shock Top and The Smiths. I’m relaxed to the point of being sleepy. 

My options have been reduced to jumping in the pool to wake up or to fall asleep with a beer glass in my hand. 

You’ll all find out what I did later, I suppose. 

So my daughter is hysterically upset because her best friend changed her Facebook status to “I need a new best friend”. All because my daughter had the temerity to have a sleepover with another one of her friends. 

I know this is just teenage girl drama. But Manda is really upset. She’s been crying for a couple of days now. I know this other girl like she’s another daughter; she practically lives with me as much as Amanda does. The thing is, I see right through this other girl. She’s being manipulative and she’s punishing Amanda. When she sees that Manda has suffered enough, they’ll be friends again. She can’t see this however. She just feels dumped by someone whom she loves. 

This scares the fuck out of me because I hate to see her like this, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Also, what hapens when a boy is involved? Jesus Christ Fuck, I don’t know if I can handle that. 

Why can’t girls be like boys and just have a fist fight then get on with their lives?

I GOT THE SAME MESSAGE!!!!!!!! ahahaha Who knew we were into the same type of person Patrick!

Oh Hon.. This doesn’t surprise me at all. I can see us liking the same things, although I must say I’m pleased that I’m not the only one who enjoys Anon’s deft use of the slingshot and Ostrich feather. Ooh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. 

Scream at the top of your lungs about how hot it is. Screaming not only promotes sweating, it also warns others near you of the dangerous heat.

Feign death. This will cause complete strangers to fan you with magazines, tour guides, anything they’re holding at the time, really.

Wear as little clothing as possible. (Especially if you are female. Science says this works). 

Drink plenty of fluids. Later, after you end up dehydrated and in an ambulance, think to yourself next time you should probably drink water instead of doing shots of Tequilla on the beach, stupid. 

Stay indoors as much as possible. Unless you don’t have any air conditioning; then immediately run outside and scream about how hot it is. Then feign death. 

I got off the subway at Grand Central and rushed upstairs. At the top of the steps I walked quickly to the escalators that would take me to the next level to grab my train. 

The bottom of the escalators are usually populated by panhandlers. They’re also packed. As the crowd gets closer to the escalators, I get closer to getting on. The old man begging for money catches my eye. He has a sadness to him, but also a dignity. My mind fills with images of how this guy probably did everything right in life, and is now reduced to begging. However, I’m a rush, I’m hot, and I’m in no mood. Then I think to myself I’f I’m miserable then how must he feel. So as I walk closer, I reach into my pocket to look for change. He sees this, and zeros in on me. So I’m finally standing next to him, and he’s staring at me, and I reach into my pocket and come up with nothing. I look at him, he looks into my eyes, and I shrug my shoulders and say “sorry”, and get on the escalator. 

As I’m moving up, I look behind me. The old guy is looking right at me, not with anger in his eyes, but with a sadness. I look at my watch and see that I have very little time to spare. I look back again and he’s still looking at me. I turn forward, and as I get off the escalator I scream “FUCK!” I turn around and run over to the stairs. I run down the steps, through the hundreds of people walking up, I’m the only one going down. I get to the bottom and run over to the old guy, who’s apparently been watching me the entire time. I get to him and he’s beaming ear to ear. I reach into my pants, grab my wallet, find a wad of singles and shove them in his hand. “HERE!” I scream, not out of anger, but I was in a rush. He barely got out a thank you before I jumped back on the escalator and ran upstairs to catch my train. 

I ran through Grand Central and found my track. I made it in just enough time to see the train pull away. “FUCK!” I slowly walked away from the track, looking at the  board to see when the next train was coming. Having 30 minutes to kill, I walked to Starbucks to treat myself to some sort of cold frappacino or whatever it is. I order it, and walk to the cash register. The girl behind the counter told me how much it was. I reach into my pocket to grab my wallet to pay her. I open my wallet. 

Empty.

*sigh*

“Fuck.”

I pay by credit card, walk to my track, and wait for my train. 

I haven’t done one of these in a couple of weeks.

I’m running silent these days due to work.

I’ve been really stressed and have a general feeling of malaise lately. It’s affecting my mood and making me cranky. 

I spelled “malaise” correctly on the first shot.

I haven’t gone to a kickboxing class for a couple of weeks due to various reasons. This is defiantly not helping my stress levels or said malaise. I’m going to try and go tonight.

I had a serious dream about one of you ladies the other evening that literally woke me up in a sweat in the middle of the night. It was strange considering that not only have we never met, but we haven’t chatted in a while. Weird. (don’t ask; I’m not telling). 

I purchased a new lawn mower this weekend. I was so excited you’d think I bought a new computer or something. Whatever. My lawn is bitchin’.  

The Early Years

Paperboy

Dishwasher at a Chinese restaurant

(interesting note: Nobody spoke English. My work training consisted of the previous dishwasher grabbing my collar, dragging me into the kitchen, pointing to the sink, dishwasher, mop and bucket). 

Growed up a little bit

Burger King

(True Story - I was promoted from burger maker to crew chief. Also, I slept with just about every woman there. This is why I eventually quit. No, I’m totally serious)

Salesman at Kinney Shoes. 

Commission Computer Salesman at Sears

Career? No shit?

Radio Shack

(Laugh all you want. I was the top computer salesman, which got me promoted to store manager. I made good money here as it was commission. I supported a family on this money)

Sunburst Communications

(Hired as Junior Software Tester, was a Product Manager when I left. This was many years ago, and this is also where I met Littlespot. We’ve been buds ever since)

Voyetra

(Testing sound cards and software. Quit when me and my boss got into a fist fight)

OneClip

(My first Dot Com. I had no idea companies could run out of money and fire everyone. Hint: They Can)

Portalvison

(Weirdo software company. Did QA)

Morgan Stanley

(Senior QA. Had an awesome office in WTC2. You guys all know what happened to my office)

Current Company. 

I went from dishwasher, to commission sales guy, to computer guy. Most of this was without any degrees, I got those later. 

..that your boss will pull up a chair to your desk the minute you think to yourself “I really need to use the restroom, get a drink and get some food because I just got out of an hour long meeting and I really need to pee, fart, drink and eat right this very second”. 

A sub paragraph of this law is that he asks you questions that you are in no way prepared to answer, making you look like a fidgety, dry mouthed idiot. 

Yup. 

…but Tumblr ‘s being an asshole. 

I hate assholes. 

I mean, seriously Tumblr, you’re putting the hurt on me. 

thaozilla123:

Probably the same thing my boyfriend would do when he sees me lying naked in bed—play Battleship and eat Cheetos. 

I rarely do these types of reblogs, but I’m kind of drunk and curious. 

My real name is Patrick. 

My middle name is John.

My twitter and Tumblr name is pvaras. 

I’ve been called nicer things. 

I’ve been called worse.

Get to know me, and decide for yourself what you’d like to call me. 

Around two months ago I went to the doc for something completely unrelated to my blood pressure. During the visit, I found out that my BP was so high that I had to go on medication to control it. I was sufficiently freaked out. 

Two months later, after changing my diet and signing up for personal training and kick boxing classes, my doctor called my blood pressure “superior”. No more medication. 

Apparently I can be taught. 

Laying in bed, in complete darkness and complete nakedness with my IPad. Two reasons why I can’t post a pic. Three reasons, actually, if you count the fact that I don’t have a camera handy. Because if I did, then I’d probably post a pic.

Due to Subway issues, it took me about an hour and 20 or so to get to GCT. Now that I’m here, the 6:15 to Poughkeepsie isn’t even here. I’m hot, sweaty, and I just walked a lot.

On the plus side, this woman fanning herself in front of me is generating a small breeze I can feel.

So I got that going for me, which is nice.

In the summer, I tend to wear as little clothes as possible. In fact, if I’m not at the office or some social situation, you can catch me at home wearing only shorts. If I have company or know someone may stop over, I’ll put a shirt on. 

For some reason, I end up wearing a few shirts over the course of a weekend. So, say I’m inside, wearing only shorts. Company stops by. I put a shirt on. When they leave, I’ll take my shirt off. Then say later in the day, I need to run up to the corner store. I’ll throw on a nicer shirt, but when I get home I’ll immediately take my shirt of again. So at the end of the day, I’ll end up with a few shirts laying around.

However I don’t really throw them around. What I do is take off the shirt then fold it before I lay it down. Or I’ll neatly drape it off the back of a chair. The same thing goes for socks; I don’t just throw them around, but neatly put them somewhere. So all around my house, there are piles of neatly folded clothes that need to be washed. 

Is this a good thing, or does it just make me a sophisticated slob that would drive you nuts?