So, basically, do anything other than:
Things of no small importance that I actually have accomplished today:
Things I’ll eventually end up doing because I have to do them:
Once I board the Metro North train in the early evening, I’ll sometimes knock out before the conductor checks my ticket. This is a pain, because I’m then woken up, sometimes rudely, by the conductor. After that I can’t sleep anymore, and I have to find other ways of amusing myself for an hour and forty minutes.
Tonight I did just that. The second the train started moving I was literally rocked to sleep. The next thing I know, I felt a gentle pressing on my shoulder. I looked up, and it was the conductor. With her hand still on my shoulder, she looked at me so sweetly and apologized for waking me. I smiled at her and mumbled out of surprise. She squeezed my shoulder, told me not to worry, she knew I had a ticket and she apologized again for waking me. She then told me to go back to sleep.
It was the sweetest way that I’ve been waken up in a long time.
5. I
4. Have
3. Nothing
2. To
1. Say
Every weekday, between five and six PM, I pack up my belongings and leave the office. I’m always happy to be leaving, but the warm weather makes me almost giddy. I stepped out of my building yesterday with a smile on my face, and headed for the subway station. I flew down the steps, swiped my metro card, and waited on the platform with all of the other commuters. Before I knew it, the subway car pulled up, doors opened and people whooshed in and out.
I stood next to an attractive young blond who had the tired yet relived look on her face that we all had. Sitting in front of her was a middle aged Asian woman reading a newspaper. I myself was playing with my iPod, finally settling on Led Zeppelin. Black Dog is not something you listen to at a lower volume, so I jacked it up and all other sounds faded away as Page and Bonham did what they do best. I tend to get lose myself in the subway, but I always stay vaguely aware of my surroundings.
At this moment I saw the blonde staring at the Asian woman. As the music blared in my head I heard nothing, but instead watched this little pantomime drama play out. The Blonde leaned down into the Asian woman and picked something out of her hair. The stunned Asian woman gave the blonde a horrified look as her personal space was violated. The blonde continued to pick the woman’s head. She then mouthed some words to the Asian, who became even more horrified and started to paw at her head. I stood in awe as these two woman smacked and batted at the older woman’s head. At last, I saw the reason. With a final bat, the blonde swatted a bug out of the Asian woman’s head. With a victorious smile, she proceeded to mouth the words “Got it!” to the Asian, who looked visibly relieved. I read her lips as she thanked the blond profusely. The blond then stood back up, a look of satisfaction on her face. She had the stance of a hero; someone who had helped a fellow human being so selflessly. One could almost call the look on her face smug.
Her smug face suddenly went white and grimaced in horror, however, when the woman sitting next to the Asian screamed at her for batting the bug from the Asian’s head directly onto her chest. The blond’s eyes were wide with panic as she was being screamed at. Her hand moved closer to the woman but stopped just short of her chest, unsure of what to do as swatting the bug would mean touching a screaming strangers boob.
I almost missed my stop to see what would happen next.
I love NYC.
I’ve had a tenuous relationship at best with my sister. We’ve had many fights, and I’ve been hurt by her many times before. And yet I’ve always had an open door for her. She’s my sister. No matter how badly she has treated me I’ve never wanted her to be completely alone.
Tonight she crossed a line and has completely devastated me in the process. I’m literally going to bed now to curl up and try to work through this.
I am devastated.
There’s always more I should do.
I do try, though.
Reclamation
Some of you may be aware of the saga of my sister, who lived with me with her kids and husband for a while, and gave me no small amount of grief for the time that she spent here. She finally moved out a couple of weeks ago. She also left the same way she came, with little notice and little choice on my part.
This room used to be my office. When she moved in I gave this room to her and moved into the dining room. I’ve decided to reclaim my office, but I’m making some changes. I’m painting this room, and I’ve decided to keep the space I’ve created in the dining room and turn it into a workout room. I can put the treadmill downstairs and I have an old exercise bike I can set up.
It will be nice to get things back to normal.
Sometimes, I really miss you. There are times that I could really use your advice. There are other times that I could really use your humor.
I’d also like to show you how your grandchildren are turning out. You’d immediately point out how much Jonathan is like me when I was his age, how smart and beautiful Amanda is, and how strong yet sensitive James is.
Sometimes, I’d like to just show you my fish tanks.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
I love a freshly cut lawn; the way it looks, the scent, and hey! Exercise!
Being chaperoned by the boy. Not having to drive is nice, but his music sucks.